Self-worth is the internal feeling of being worthy and good enough to feel loved and accepted by other people. Below are the six (6) steps you can take to determine the self-worth you have in your relationships.


Everyone has an agenda of things they would like or think will bring them happiness in their relationships. E.g. for women, it might be a 6ft guy with 6-pack abs for a boyfriend/fiance/husband or a wealthy man who spends on you and takes you on exotic trips around the world.

For guys, it could be having a woman who has “assets” in the right proportions, or “a baddie”. Etc.

Being aware of what you’d like is an essential step in establishing self-worth. A great way to determine what you are looking for is by first determining what you do not need in a relationship. E.g. the tall 5’1″ man or one who works in a 9-5 job.

For males, it could be overweight women and “non-baddies/IG model-looking women”. You can then start with your list, and sort them according to their importance to you.

Understanding what it is you’re looking for assists you in determining how to achieve what you desire.


Your wants and needs are distinct. What you are looking for may not be exactly the thing you want. Using the examples stated in step 1, a woman might want a 6ft guy with 6-pack abs for a boyfriend/fiance/husband. But, attraction is all she seeks in her relationship.

The man you love can possess all the physical traits you’d expect from the perfect boyfriend however, if you’re not interested in him then what do you want are you looking for?

It’s the same with the man with wealth taking you on trips to exotic destinations. You want that but what you require to have is security in your finances. Many people appear and enjoy lavish lifestyles with credit. Additionally, with a properly-planned budget, you can be able to afford trips around the world. Do you understand what I’m trying to get at?

The needs of your partner will override your desires in a relationship each time. The satisfaction of your needs is what will keep you in a relationship and make it last for longer. Not being met needs to break relationships.

You can find a rich guy simply because that’s the thing you think you’re looking for. But if he doesn’t pay you enough attention and quality time as a woman or doesn’t respect you, you’ll be unhappy in the relationship as both of these are (2) essential demands. It’s a sure bet that you’ll be able to find someone who fulfills your NEEDS and NOT desires. Understanding your needs will put things into your perspective.


Steve Harvey has a quote he likes to quote that is in line with this idea.

Many people feel miserable in their relationships and lives because they’re too scared to speak up for what they desire or need. In a relationship as long that it’s a good relationship and aren’t being a narcissist or an all-around toxic individual, the two of you must engage in a productive conversation that has a great likelihood of the things you want and desire.

It’s the same with life. The most dangerous thing that people could do is to tell you “no” when you ask. As it is as long you do not inquire and the answer will always be “no”.

Put on those big boy or girl pants then open your mouth and begin asking what you’d like. This is the only way you’ll ever be able to obtain it.


The power of leaving is immense since it shows the courage to wait until the thing you want or need comes to you.

The decision to leave comes from a strong conviction that a better alternative to the one you’re getting rid of (in this case it could be a relationship is coming your way.

YOUR FEAR OF LOSING YOURSELF SHOULD BE GREATER THAN LOSING SOMEONE ELSE. The ones who choose to leave the table to negotiate show they’re not in a hurry; thus they can’t be manipulated and because of their belief, have more influence and get the things they’d like or want for.

If you’re not prepared or ready to leave and leave, you’ll give off the appearance of a desperate person.

You’ll accept everything that comes your way regardless of how skeptical you feel about the proposition.


If you’re miserable when you’re single, you’ll be more unhappy when you finally enter into an intimate relationship. It’s because you’ve been expecting someone else to fulfill you and make you feel happy. You’re entering into this relationship from a”taker’s” mentality, not thinking about what you can offer as well as how you could fulfill your partner’s desires.

Placing the weight of happiness upon another human being is not just selfish but also a wrong act to commit. Everyone is responsible for your happiness other than you. The foundation of a relationship is two individuals who are content and happy. Your first few years are the ones in which you can recover, grow and learn. You must be capable of enjoying your own company. You must be so euphoric that you can’t stop, like a cup that is filled to the top of the cup with the water, or any other liquid that you have put inside. This is how you’re supposed to feel.

The relationship between two individuals is about sharing and sharing their requirements. You can only give to one another when you have enough. Tell me how you could provide something you don’t possess.

A relationship is between two single people who are giving love, goodness and joy to each other and assisting each other to become the very best version of themselves. It’s not two (2) miserable, desperate individuals who have come together to place the weight of their happiness on one another.


You must grow. Learn to improve yourself and expand your knowledge and skills. The process of growing will help you think about things in a new way by helping you establish your priorities. This is then going to assist you in your quest to achieve what you want to achieve. The process of growing will do good for your self-esteem and self-worth. Begin doing things you believe can help you become more of yourself. Explore how you can become better.

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