7 Steps To Creating a Vision Together: The Crucial Conversation of Family Roles

Talking about the roles you’ll be expected to assume as a couple before starting the process of having a family is essential for setting expectations, understanding and shared responsibilities.

If you’re engaged and already have children it is still possible to engage in this discussion. It’s never too late to direct your life towards a path that will be rewarding for everyone in the family.

Here are a few steps that will help you navigate this crucial discussion:

1. Choose the Right Time

Choose a time that you and your companion are at ease and free of distractions and in a position to have an open and honest discussion.

Be careful not to discuss this subject in times of conflict or when one of you is feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Make it a point to schedule it as you would make an appointment.

2. Create a Safe and Supportive Environment

Begin the conversation with compassion and respect. Also, show the willingness to hear one another’s viewpoints.

Create an atmosphere in which both of you feel at ease sharing your thoughts, worries and needs without judgment or criticism.

Have a stroll or even a lunch date. If you’ve tried to discuss the subject before, but it did not go as planned maybe you’ll want to discuss it with an intermediary.

The most difficult aspect of my marriage was my husband’s expectations didn’t discuss prior to getting married.

3. Reflect on Personal Values and Upbringing

Make time to reflect on your personal values thoughts, beliefs, and personal experiences that relate to your family’s role.

Take note of how your childhood has shaped your beliefs and beliefs regarding family relationships.

This reflective exercise will allow you to get a better understanding of your personal preferences as well as areas for conflict or disagreement.

Share Expectations

Begin by discussing your expectations regarding family roles. Discuss what roles you imagine for yourself as partners, parents, and as individuals within the family group.

Be clear about the duties you are planning to assume and the degree of involvement you want to have in different aspects of your family life, including parenting children chores at home and financial management, career goals and hobbies for yourself.

Active Listening and Compromise

When you discuss your expectations, be attentive to the perspective of your partner.

Try to understand their concerns, wants and needs. Be flexible in finding common ground that is in line with your values and goals.

This discussion is about forming the vision you share and establishing a balance that is beneficial to the two of you.

Family life can be incredibly rewarding But, it is important to be prepared for conflicts and disappointments. They will happen regardless of how much you love one the other.

Seek Professional Guidance, If Needed

If you are finding it difficult to negotiate this issue or notice significant disagreements in your expectations, think about seeking help from a couples therapist, or counselor.

Unbiased third parties can in productive discussions, offer suggestions, and provide methods for effective communication and compromise.

Revisit and Adapt

Know that the roles and expectations will change in the course of your growing family situations change, and new opportunities come up.

Always revisit and adjust your conversations regarding family roles to ensure that they are relevant and meet the needs and desires of both partners.

The purpose of this discussion is to promote understanding, alignment and collaboration within your new family. 

In the process of discussing openly and setting mutual expectations, you set the foundations for a successful relationship and a happy family life.